Pride and Prejudice Essay

“There is only one happiness in life: to love and be loved” (Sand). For thousands of years people have gotten married for different reasons. Someone with a prudent motive for marriage is looking for stability and help. Another person might be searching for money or other rewards, in which their marriage would be based on mercenary motives. Today, almost half of all marriages fail because they lack one thing: love. Love is an essential part of marriage, and without it, a marriage is destined to fail. Without love a marriage would be dark, dull, and tedious. Love is universal and fills our hearts with joy. In Pride and Prejudice the motives for marriage vary, but one thing is always certain: a marriage filled with love is a marriage filled with happiness and everything you need.

Marriage is a lifelong commitment; lifelong commitments should never be rushed. In Lydia Bennet’s mind, marriage was a competition. If marriage was a race, even though Lydia was married first, she would have lost. Lydia should have used the lesson slow and steady wins the race. In the story of the Tortoise and the Hare, an overconfident rabbit challenges a tortoise to a race. The hare enters the race, thinking he’s already won. Similarly, Lydia, pompous and conceited, believed she had the most successful marriage. Lydia thought her sisters had no chance of finding a happy marriage: “I only hope they may have half my good luck” (Austen 307). The hare thought he was so far ahead, he took a break. Elizabeth, similar to the tortoise, took her time in marriage. She was cautious and waited for the one she loved. While Lydia was busy applauding herself, she failed to realize Elizabeth had far surpassed her. It was too late for Lydia to get back in the race, she already lost. Lizzy made sure her love was real and although waiting for love may take a long time, it is worth it in the end.

If you marry someone for the wrong reasons, your marriage is destined to fail. The main motive behind Lydia and Wickham’s marriage was mercenary. Without money, Wickham would have no reason to stay and support Lydia. Wickham proved that he only wanted money after he shifted his love from Lizzy to Miss King: “he paid her not the smallest attention till her grandfather’s death made her mistress of this fortune” (153). Wickham agreed to marry Lydia after Darcy promised him a small fortune and a job. Money can buy a lot of things, but it cannot buy love or happiness. Without happiness and stability, how can a marriage last?

Lydia believed she was in love, but she was clearly wrong. She was not looking to marry someone for love; she was looking for other rewards. She mistook her love for infatuation because “love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud, it is not rude” (I Corinthians 13:4-5). Lydia did not allow enough time for her emotions for Wickham to develop. She rushed her marriage, convinced that everything would be perfect. If she allowed herself more time, she would have learned Wickham’s true nature and found a better match. Lydia had a desire to get married before her sisters because she was envious of them: “Jane, I take your place now, and you must go lower, because I am a married woman” (Austen 307). Lydia could not have been in love because if she was, she would not need to brag about it, “I am sure my sisters must all envy me” (307). While Lydia was pleased with herself, Elizabeth expressed her disdain, “I do not particularly like your way of getting husbands” (307). Elizabeth knew the only way to a happy marriage is to marry for true love.

Things may have been alright for Lydia and Wickham in the beginning, but their marriage would not last long. Lydia married based on infatuation, and since infatuation is a feeling it cannot last forever: “his affection for her soon sunk into indifference: hers lasted a little longer” (374). Lydia was impulsive, arrogant, and oblivious. Wickham was selfish, deceiving, and unreliable. Consequently, the marriage was dying before it even started. Lydia constantly visited her sisters, and Wickham frequently enjoyed himself in London or Bath. This indicates that they were both unsatisfied and looked for an escape to their marriage. Their main motive for marriage was based on vanity and money; as a result, Lydia and Wickham were miserable and did not get the happy, successful, prosperous marriage she was hoping for.

Finding that one special person that loves you and you love back is not always easy. In Charlotte’s case she did not have the time or the patience to wait for someone. Her choices were limited because she was not beautiful and she was getting older. It was best for her to marry the first person who proposed and could provide for her. Charlotte was satisfied because in her opinion, “happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance” (24). Charlotte was wrong though because happiness in marriage is not a matter of chance, it is entirely predictable. If there is love, there will be happiness.

Mr. Collins could not have felt any kind of love for Charlotte because moments earlier he proposed to Elizabeth. Their marriage could be described as a prudent marriage for it makes sense, but lacks emotion. Charlotte just wanted a comfortable home, financial, and social security. She did not care much for her happiness; she made it clear when she claimed, “considering Mr. Collins’s character, connections, and situation in life, I am convinced that my chance of happiness with him is as fair as most people can boast on entering the marriage state.” (125). Though the marriage is convenient, and Mr. Collins’s will provide some things for her, he can never provide her with happiness.

Is sacrificing your happiness for stability in a marriage worth it? To Elizabeth mercenary and prudent motives are the same: “What is the difference in matrimonial affairs, between the mercenary and the prudent motive?” (153). They are different in many ways; however, they are the same in the fact that neither one will bring pleasure. Turning down two marriage proposals, Lizzy is not willing to marry for any reason other than love.

A marriage without love is like a day without sunshine. Just as we need sunshine to survive, we need love. Sunshine brightens everything up, makes us feel warm, and most importantly brings us happiness. Elizabeth and Darcy married for love, “I do, I do like him, I love him” (364). As a result, Elizabeth is “the happiest creature in the world” (369). On day’s the sun is not shining everything is dark, depressing, and boring. A marriage that lacks affection is like a cloudy day. If you have never seen the sun, you do not know what you are missing. Charlotte married for prudential motives, hoping she would receive the most happiness: “I am convinced that my chance of happiness with him is as fair as most people can boast on entering the marriage state” (125). She might be content, but she will never beam with joy. Cloudy days do not prevent us from doing anything, and Charlotte’s marriage provided her with what she needed. Unfortunately, cloudy days are boring and depressing, just like Charlotte’s marriage. Once you experience the warmth of the sun, you never want it to go away. If Lizzy’s marriage is like a beautiful day, Lydia’s marriage is like a hurricane. Just as a hurricane destroys everything, Lydia’s marriage destroyed everything. Once a hurricane hits, it takes years to recover. Mercenary motives will get you nowhere; they can only hold you back.

The mercenary motive behind Mr. and Mrs. Bennett’s marriage proved to be unsuccessful. The only joy Mr. Bennett got out of their marriage was making fun of his wife. He married Mrs. Bennett for her youth and beauty. Unlike love, youth and beauty do not last forever. Once it’s gone, what are you left with? Mr. Bennett was left with nothing: “respect, esteem, and confidence had vanished forever; and all his views of domestic happiness were overthrown” (231). Life is too short not to be happy; therefore, marry someone you love and there is nothing to fear. Elizabeth was blind to her parents sorrow, but Lydia noticed it. Since, Mrs. Bennett’s only goal in life was to get her daughters married, Lydia was in a rush to do so. The Bennett’s provided a poor example of married life. Consequently, Lydia did not know what to expect, would blindly enter a marriage, and would make the same mistake as her parents.

“What counts in making a happy relationship is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility” (Goleman). If a married couple responds to their incompatibility with love, they will be successful. In Charlotte’s eyes, “it is better to know as little as possible of the defects of the person with whom you are to pass your life.” Instead, you should learn to love and embrace their faults. Darcy’s ability to overcome the fact that Elizabeth comes from a poor, obnoxious, disgraceful family shows he truly loves her and will never leave her. To marry for love meant Darcy would have to suffer the most. He angered his aunt, he lowered his social status, and he became brothers with the man he most despised, all out of love. He sacrificed so much for her, but it did not affect his optimism. Likewise, Bingley sacrificed his social status and disappointed his sister to marry Jane. You would expect people dealing with these challenges to be disappointed, ashamed, and frustrated. This is not the case though; Bingley and Darcy are the happiest of all. Even if you lose everything, all you need is love to be happy.

Since marriage is a lifelong commitment, it is beneficial to base a marriage on something that lasts forever. Unlike money, stability, or infatuation, unconditional love is everlasting: “Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails” (1 Corinthians 13:7-8). Love never fails; therefore, if you have love in your marriage, your marriage can never fail. If you have love, what else do you need? Love brings trust, happiness, loyalty, and respect. The best part about love is that it brings all these things and no one can take them away from you. Money or stability will not make your problems go away. Love will always help you get through them.

"To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part." (www.bible.org) As soon as you say these words, you are committed to your husband or wife for the rest of your life. Love in a marriage will make the difference between a life of success and a life of misery. Lydia and Wickham married out of mercenary, and for that they do not have the happy ending they each wanted. Mr. and Mrs. Collins might be content, but they will never know what true happiness is. Lizzy and Darcy, and Bingley and Jane, married for love; therefore, they will be most rewarded. No marriage is flawless, but a marriage with love is very close.