Unflattering Aspects

My freshman year after soccer was over I was excited to play basketball. I had played before, so I was put on the varsity team. Our coach is very loud and likes to yell. I didn’t think this would bother me so much, because I’ve played several sports before and I had many coaches who yelled. However, being a freshmen and new to the team, his approach was difficult to deal with. Being screamed at for two hours a day, six days a week, lowered my self-esteem and stressed me out.
Immediately after basketball practice my sister, Juliette, and I would rush to dance class for two and a half hours. Basketball practice always ended late and as a result we were always late to dance. Once we got there we would be yelled at, again, for being late. As I jumped into class, I would be way behind everyone else and have no idea what I was doing. We would then get home close to 9:00. Being exhausted and hungry, we would still have to do all our homework. I was so stressed I always took my frustration out on others. Even though I was annoyed, I tried to act like everything was fine. I said so many things I shouldn’t have, but at the time I didn’t care. Juliette had the same responsibilities as I did, and she was able to stay calm and happy.
I was so tired, I had a hard time focusing at practice the next day. I did not want to be there, and it showed through my negative attitude. Being negative, I got yelled at even more and sat on the bench. I wanted to play more, but it didn’t bother me that much because I was only a freshman, I made a lot of mistakes, and I was always confused.
The next year, I figured basketball would be a lot better because I was a sophomore and I knew what to expect. The coach continued to scream and I got just as annoyed as I did the year before. (I have since learned that not all coaches give positive reinforcement and I have to deal with that.) Whenever I got yelled at, I would just give up and act like I didn’t care anymore. I lost all confidence and as a result I never played in the games. I was intimidated by everyone, and I feared that if I did something wrong I would be looked down upon by the coach and my teammates. I would be yelled at if I shot and I would be yelled at if I didn’t shoot. My lack of confidence eventually resulted in not playing at all and getting demoted to the JV team. I had more fun and confidence in the JV games, but I felt like I was not good enough. The coach told me not to think of it as a demotion, but it still felt that way. My lack of confidence made me feel insecure and pessimistic. I complained the whole practice and gave up way too easily. I now understand that criticism is not to be taken personally, but is there to learn from.